Up on the Roof

Article Courtesy of  The NWF Daily News

An Opinion By BN Heard

Published November 21, 2019

  
The Drifters sang it, Carole King sang it and even James Taylor sang it. The song actually has beautiful lyrics and I enjoy listening to any of those folks’ versions. Carole King was one of the writers of the song that begins, “When this old world starts a getting me down, and people are just too much for me to face.”

The bottom line of the song is that “the roof” provides a place that is peaceful, where the world can’t bother you.

I can’t get up on my roof and sit because my house is three stories and I don’t like getting on ladders.

However, like in the song, I do come home feeling tired and beat and want to get away from the rat race and all that stuff. And according to the person in charge of rule violations down at my homeowners association, I have a stain on my roof. “A stain that must be addressed within 30 days.”

They even sent me pictures of my house. Never mind the fact that my lawn, shrubbery and everything else looked immaculate, I had a stain on my roof (according to them). I was actually very proud of the picture they sent me because my house looked so nice.

I was hot. I was very hot.

Go out in my yard and look left and look right...

I could go house to house making a list of every violation. Things like leaves, lawn debris, poorly kept flower beds, tacky stuff, illegal mailboxes, cars parked improperly, yard ornaments, faded flags and I could and probably will go on and on. Do I complain about my neighbors violations? Absolutely not...

I’m still looking for my “stain.” I pay close to two hundred bucks a month to be fund my trash, recycling, access to community areas and for the lady who took a picture of the stain on my roof. I have yet to see the stain. I think it may even be a shadow.

My wife will not let me send a scathing letter to the homeowners association policers, if policers is a word.

Perhaps, I should get a ladder. If I go up there and try to find the stain myself, I would probably fall off. That would show them... Yes, that’s stupid too. Perhaps the lady who wrote me the letter on the official homeowners association letterhead just happens to have a brother who is in the roof cleaning business. I will probably get something in my mailbox from him this week.

Soliciting is prohibited by the homeowners association, but she will probably make an exception since her brother is providing a valuable service.

“Put down what you’re doing tonight and climb up the stairs with me and see...

We got the stars up above us and the city lights below, oh...” I need to edit that line, to include my stain and perhaps a shout out to the lady who is just mad about my grass looking so doggone good that she had to think of something to write me up for...

My 100 percent homeowners association approved mailbox is brand new also... She’s mad that I replaced it before she could write the old one up. What about the house that has the illegal plastic mailbox with flowers and doo dads hanging on it? It’s only been there for about three years. Hmm...

Thank you for listening to my venting, my wife won’t let me say anything because she thinks she (the policer) might come back and find something else more expensive that needs to be “remedied.” Perhaps I should just go down and ask her what kind of services any and all of her relatives provide and just go ahead and start writing checks.

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